Sunday, 30 October 2016

Breast Cancer Awareness Month - My dear friend.

She was a beautiful Australian Caucasian, i can't recall her natural hair colour but she certainly had regular appointments with her hair stylist who would dye it half blonde and half black. She would make jokes of how she loved them dark muscly handsome african brothers and how she wouldn't mind being in the jungle with them. 

She was a dear friend and a colleague. She had a diagnosis of breast cancer many years before i met her and usually a person is referred as a breast cancer survivor even when they are undergoing treatment. However, a few years later she went to her general practitioner and the news she received was heart wrenching. Her cancer had flared up!

On one peculiar day we met and she informed me of her current diagnosis of the cancer spreading all over her system. In all honesty i was hoping for a miracle, i was hoping it will all disappear. I tried to get my words together and i said to her "it will be alright." Out of those few words she became angry, i can't recall the exact words she used but it was more so of how did i have the audacity of telling her it will be alright "she stated i will be dying soon and i haven't seen my youngest daughter grow up, how dare you say it will be alright."

Being realistic was not in my mind because i really hoped for that miracle. Eventually she stopped coming to work and that was the last time i saw her. Whenever i asked on how she was faring on, the feedback i always got back is she's still fighting but it's not looking good.  I really wished i could see her but felt like she didn't really want to see me. So i always wished the best for her but i never verbalised it. On one occasion my colleagues were going to visit her and although i doubted she wanted to hear from me i sent my greetings to her. After a few days i sent her a message enquiring if she had received my message. She did respond but i hesitated to open the message. Many months went by and she passed away. Out of the blue i decided to read her reply and this is what she said  "Yea they passed on msg, thanks Hilda.hanging to see ya. Say hello to ur mum for me n I hope see happy n well. Chat soon n hoping to see u even sooner 🙂"

I cry i still cry for the fact that i didn't open that message soon, maybe i would have seen her one more time. The aim of breast cancer awareness month is to "provide an opportunity for us all to focus on breast cancer and its impact on those affected by the disease in our community." 

I share this because i constantly keep distance from people when i feel when they are upset with me and in all honesty the majority of the time it's all in my head and truly this is the time the cancer survivor or the family itself needs support from you even if it is just providing company. 

All White Affair

I am indeed blessed beyond measure to be surrounded with these phenomenal ladies. Yesterday i had the privilege of strutting my little white dress aka LWD for my twin sisters  all white birthday affair. 

Tuesday, 18 October 2016

The Genesis

I have yearned in multiple occasions to share the good, the bad and the ugly experiences i have had but i often feel vulnerable :-(. With no further ado let me narrate how i got here, you may be wondering where exactly? I am currently in School of Nursing and if you had asked me 4years ago if i thought i would be in nursing school the answer would be a big no. 
When i was in high school i had a career advisor, on one of my visit to her she asked me what i would like to do and i said anything but not nursing. At that time i was flunking my physics class (irrelevant to nursing right?) and human bio class (relevant).  So i told her i would do anything but not nursing and and my reason as to why i didn't want to do nursing was not valid enough  therefore she said you'll come back one day and tell me you are doing nursing. In my mind i was thinking yeah right we'll see about that. 
When i reflect as to why i never wanted to become a nurse is because nurse's are looked down upon often, there's the notion anyone can do nursing or that nursing is a walk in the park but in all honesty if that's what you think you are in for a shock. Nursing school is challenging but beautifully doable. The beautiful part is the clinicals where you get to apply the knowledge you have gained from all the different units you have learnt.

The interesting thing is i never understood that people actually studied in order to excel, i just thought people woke up everyday and they remembered everything they learnt in class. My mother always bought me the compulsory books plus the recommended ones but in all honesty i barely ever read any of them.  I just though a miracle would happen or in actual fact i didn't think about it. So my last 2 years of high school i was passing but not excelling and i knew i was in trouble but i though there was nothing i could do. When i think about it now my final major exams i am sure i stressed and talked about studying more when in actual fact i studied less than 2hrs and for some other papers i never studied. Well when the results came out i had just passed, to cut the story short i went to MIT for 3 months and there i flunked another unit anyway fast forward again it was time for uni to start and honestly i had no idea what i wanted to do. At first it was criminology then it was something else and eventually i settled for chemistry. Quite frankly there was that ahem reaction of when i would tell someone i am studying chemistry and mineral science. Anyway during that time i was THE representative of dressing up and applying makeup (at that time this eye-brows on fleek did not exist), i missed most of my tutes and yo i was struggling but i was playing cool hehehe. So Semester 2 2013 my mom was on my case and saying i need to get my life together and nursing school was THE option.

So i sent an application through to my current university and i was accepted #yippee happy dance#  with a scholarship offer God is good ooo!! Off i went and my first semester in i said to myself i will put some effort in, to cut the story short from the first time i walked into Curtin i loved it and i felt i belonged there. I challenged myself to read and for the first time it actually hit me that people actually do read and excel also the more you read the more knowledge you have and the best thing with health sciences it's applicable in all areas of life.

Being in nursing school is a blessing and i am really getting to learn more and more about myself and i wouldn't really like to trade the experiences i am gaining from Curtin. I wear this uniform proudly because i know i deserve it and i am doing all i can to make it through. With God nothing is impossible.