She was a beautiful Australian Caucasian, i can't recall her natural hair colour but she certainly had regular appointments with her hair stylist who would dye it half blonde and half black. She would make jokes of how she loved them dark muscly handsome african brothers and how she wouldn't mind being in the jungle with them.
She was a dear friend and a colleague. She had a diagnosis of breast cancer many years before i met her and usually a person is referred as a breast cancer survivor even when they are undergoing treatment. However, a few years later she went to her general practitioner and the news she received was heart wrenching. Her cancer had flared up!
On one peculiar day we met and she informed me of her current diagnosis of the cancer spreading all over her system. In all honesty i was hoping for a miracle, i was hoping it will all disappear. I tried to get my words together and i said to her "it will be alright." Out of those few words she became angry, i can't recall the exact words she used but it was more so of how did i have the audacity of telling her it will be alright "she stated i will be dying soon and i haven't seen my youngest daughter grow up, how dare you say it will be alright."
Being realistic was not in my mind because i really hoped for that miracle. Eventually she stopped coming to work and that was the last time i saw her. Whenever i asked on how she was faring on, the feedback i always got back is she's still fighting but it's not looking good. I really wished i could see her but felt like she didn't really want to see me. So i always wished the best for her but i never verbalised it. On one occasion my colleagues were going to visit her and although i doubted she wanted to hear from me i sent my greetings to her. After a few days i sent her a message enquiring if she had received my message. She did respond but i hesitated to open the message. Many months went by and she passed away. Out of the blue i decided to read her reply and this is what she said "Yea they passed on msg, thanks Hilda.hanging to see ya. Say hello to ur mum for me n I hope see happy n well. Chat soon n hoping to see u even sooner "
I cry i still cry for the fact that i didn't open that message soon, maybe i would have seen her one more time. The aim of breast cancer awareness month is to "provide an opportunity for us all to focus on breast cancer and its impact on those affected by the disease in our community."
I share this because i constantly keep distance from people when i feel when they are upset with me and in all honesty the majority of the time it's all in my head and truly this is the time the cancer survivor or the family itself needs support from you even if it is just providing company.